Raising a teenager can be an enormous task. During teenage, boys and girls go through a number of physical and psychological changes which reflect in their attitude as well. One moment, they might seem happy with themselves and the very next, they might be picking a fight with someone. They are a confused breed and tend to be even self-destructive sometimes.
For parents, it is not at all easy to deal with their teenage daughter or son. There is a generation gap and they don’t always seem to understand what’s bugging their kid. They need to have a lot of patience while dealing with a teenager and also have to practice being calm and self-restrained.
Here we have compiled some useful tips which would help parents to deal with their teenagers better!
- Communication: Dos and Don’ts
Teenagers aren’t the best when it comes to communication. You can’t expect a teenager to come and pour out all of his/her emotions to you. They tend to be not comfortable expressing what they feel as often. So, what parents need to do is be a bit more casual in their approach. Try and get them talking when you both are doing an activity together, say playing a game or cooking together. They find it easier to talk when they are doing something else and it’s not just an intense talk. Don’t be intimidating with too much of eye-contact and don’t react angrily to what they say right away. Try to understand where they are coming from and also give them time to process the talk you’ve had with them. Slowly and steadily, you would see a change in their attitude and they would start feeling a lot more comfortable sharing thoughts and ideas with you.
2. Restrict phone, internet and television time
It sounds easier said than done but parents today really have no choice but to set limits on phone, internet and television time. Most teenagers spend much of their time glued to their phones and laptops these days. There is no physical activity and there is no going out to meet friends either. It makes them lazy and also hampers their sleep more often than not. Parents have to be strict regarding this issue and explain to their kids that this is something which is not good for their health and that’s why they are bound to do put limits. Also, instead of letting them spend all their time doing nothing fruitful, parents can encourage their teenage sons and daughters to connect with friends more, to take up a hobby and to do more physical activities. This would eventually help in their physical as well as mental growth.
3. Set boundaries for them
During teenage, boys and girls are constantly trying to defy their parents and try out things which might prove harmful for them in the long run. Hence, it is imperative that you set out clear boundaries right from the start. It doesn’t have to be a long list but make sure that they understand the necessity of following those ground rules. Be fair and considerate in making the rules and ensure that those can be consistently followed.
4. Let them earn their privileges
Never let your kid take things for granted. There are many parents who spoil their children with luxury items and other indulgences every now and then. By doing that, they never let their kids appreciate the value of the things they have. Many of the other teenage problems also arise because of parents spoiling their children. What they should do instead is to make them earn their privileges. For instance, parents can tell their teenage kids that they would be given laptops only if they score excellent marks in their exams. Also, make it very clear that whatever privileges they enjoy on a day-to-day basis would be taken away from them in case of any misconduct on their part.
5. Be available but don’t be too pushy
Many times, a teenager doesn’t confide in his/her parents about things because he or she feels that parents won’t listen or probably won’t understand. Some parents are either too busy or too rigid to see something from their kid’s point of view. However, if you want to build a close bond with your teenager, you have to be available. Talk to them like a friend and listen to what they have to say without interrupting or without judging them. Also, don’t be too pushy to make them reveal everything to you. Be patient and let them come to you instead. Just make sure that they know that you will always be there to listen whenever they want to share something.
6. Appreciate them when they do something good
It is very necessary to appreciate teenagers when they do something good. Everybody likes being appreciated once in a while. It gives them a sense of validation when someone praises the work that they have done. There are many parents who don’t remember to do that very often. It creates a distance between them and their kids, as the kids feel that their parents never appreciate anything they do. So, be considerate and don’t forget to shower praises on your kids when they really deserve it. It makes them confident and they also aspire to do even better in the future.
Being a parent is never easy and when you are the parent of a teenager daughter or son, there are new things to learn every day. We hope that the aforementioned tips will help you in dealing with your kid better and you will have a better understanding of teenage behaviour with time. Your kids are your greatest asset and there’s no way you can put them down in any way. So, be kind and be calm in dealing with them and you will see your bond grow deeper with each passing day.